Wicked Stepmother

This poem started as a poem to my stepmother, but as I related it to my own experience of step parenting, it became a tool for me to heal my own pain.  Though there are many, many years my step mom didn't act as a mom because she was often dysfunctional and had her addictions.  I can't pretend to know what she went through, and I'm sure she was often misunderstood...and I'm positive she never was appreciated for many of the things she did.  This job of step mothering is highly volatile, but it has many rewards...and the strength it takes to bear it can only be given by God and sheer determination.  I faced it without drugs or drinking...it's like having a baby with no anesthesia, but the pain goes on for a lifetime.  I want to honor us both in this poem.  And I dedicate it to all the step moms out there who ever took this job on, whether you felt success or not, you deserve to be appreciated even if only by a stranger. XOXOXO  Thank you mom...for coming back and for a better relationship this year.  I'm sorry it took so long for us to heal.

Wicked Stepmother

I know that a mom’s job is hard,

And that a step mother’s job is even harder

That when you wear that badge,

You wear it PROUDLY

            But that the badge tears deeply into your flesh.

          *

I know that you feel underappreciated

But more so,

Undervalued,

And sometimes…not even human

          *

I know that the job is hard

Because the badge doesn’t

give you any authority

Over ANYTHING.

          *

It’s more like a label

with a lot of names

attached to it

Mostly…WICKED.

          *

I grew up wanting to be a mom

I didn’t grow up wanting to be a step mom.

          *

But I took on the job

And…it almost killed me

I was in the line of fire daily

with no hazard pay.

          *

Sometimes hazards weren’t even marked.

A situation that seemed normal

Would blow like a road side bomb

Unsuspecting

          *

With a lot of damage.

And when the reports

of the carnage and casualties are read

No one would believe it.

          *

I know that when that stepchild grows up

No matter how well she does as an adult

I will get no credit for the good,

And ALL the credit for the bad

          *

My stepmother badge will never

Be a good thing

Except to me.

And when I die…

          *

My dear God,

I hope you will know

That I gave Motherhood

All my best.

That when you gave me the

Title of MOTHER

There was no side “step.”

And I am proud of the work I’ve done.

Comments

[Paul]

Lovely post and a wonderful tribute to those who give their best in a hard situation.

[KJ]

I'm neither a stepmother or a stepdaughter...I'm not even a mother yet. But I have seen and apprciate all the sacrifices and gifts my mom has given to me and know what a difficult job it can be. I can't imagine how much harder it is to parent a child that was born to someone else.

But I do think that your poem was absolutely beautiful and even though there is the "step" in front of the word mother, your children have obviously got a wise, open, and brave woman as a role model in you. It couldn't have been easy to be this honest about a subject that is obviously so emotional and difficult. Good job!

[Tammy]

Amen to every word of that and your strong spirit!

[Becca]

Great take on the prompt...I know step mothers have gotten a bad rap over the years, and it sure sounds like you've done your best to overcome all the stereotypes.

Well done!

[Melba]

Thankyou for this post. I grew up with a Wicked step mother. She was very cruel to my siblings and I. Over time I have let go of the pain of the past, but I have yet to move to a place of gratitude. Seeing through your eyes has helped.

I know it is sometimes difficult to decide how much to share...I do appreciete what you do share!

XO,
Melba

[JourneyThroughLife]

And just when I had thought that it might be nice to meet someone who already had kids...
:):)
A
xxx

[Valaine]

This is very moving. I appreciate your honesty in this.

[helenina]

of course you did your best and you did it so well looking how your girls have succeeded and developped their creativity:)
dont know about your other children:)
but I am sure you are a wonderful mother!

many blessings

[helenina]

of course you did your best and you did it so well looking how your girls have succeeded and developped their creativity:)
dont know about your other children:)
but I am sure you are a wonderful mother!

many blessings