creative faery

Gold Digger

I have NEVER liked the word TOLERANCE.  It implies I have to put up with you.  I would much rather find an ACCEPTANCE in a person by looking at them through a HUMAN lens with human passions and human faults and beautiful human experiences.  There is gold in every person.  I challenge you to find it. 

I am going out in the world that people tell me is ugly, and I'm going to seek treasure.  There's GOLD in those people!

 

Marie

 

 

Gold Digger

I have NEVER liked the word TOLERANCE.  It implies I have to put up with you.  I would much rather find an ACCEPTANCE in a person by looking at them through a HUMAN lens with human passions and human faults and beautiful human experiences.  There is gold in every person.  I challenge you to find it. 

I am going out in the world that people tell me is ugly, and I'm going to seek treasure.  There's GOLD in those people!

 

Marie

 

 

One Billion Rising Boise

Yesterday was an amazing experience for me.  I created an event for 1 Billion Rising, and it was more than successful; it was empowering.  I pushed through fear and self doubt and realized that my voice matters even if it was only me attending.  My friend Angel was such a blessing.  When I thought I needed at least 20 people to feel comfortable dancing on the Capitol steps, she said that she would dance with me if it was just us.  She really has no idea how much this touched my heart to the core...so much that I found strength in myself beyond what I knew I  had.  My daughter, Kelci and her friends were dedicated beyond measure, doing the Social Media and creating posters and attending all the practices!  And women with incredibly busy lives stopped what they were doing to attend as well.

About two weeks before it started, reality seemed like there would only be about five of us.  Then the Idaho Coalition stepped up and joined us, with such a positive spirit named Hannah, and I was feeling more comfortable.

The day was very rainy, but spirits were high.  For a blustery day, there were a 100 people with smiles,  joyous smiles.  Several of the young people learned the dance right there on the spot!  What courage! 

Then, I KNEW I had to publicly speak.  If I was going to ask others to step out of their comfort zone and try things they hadn't done before.  I walked up to the podium and just expressed gratitude.  The moment was beautiful.  The young speakers were incredible with strong voices and powerful messages.

Then, the final moment arrived.  I got right up front.  I knew it was now or never and that I had to give it my all...smiling through the fear, let my spirit soar!  I looked again to the young people, and I let my spirit celebrate right along with theirs.  I blocked out the cameras...I trusted the moment, and it was GLORIOUS!  

There's nothing to describe the feeling of fully loving and trusting a moment right along people who believed in you all along...or being a part of something YOU created that brought people joy. I am in the deepest gratitude.

~Nemaste

 

Seeking Friends

It's amazing to me all the time that whenever I open my heart for receiving answers to the questions I'm having, how quickly and uniquely the Universe answers them.  Such is the case when I was seeking friendship.

A couple of weeks ago, I was yearning for the closeness of girlfriends and girl talk.  It seemed that many of my friendships had changed, and two of my closest friends, Sara and Annie, moved. 

My friend Annie and I would have coffee almost every Sunday and sometimes she would have me over for coffee before I went to school.  It was the best part of my day.  On these days, I would skip to school.  I know my students felt my joy.  Though Annie was much younger, we had rich, deep conversations about everything from how the world worked, teacherly conversations, to cooking.  We never tired and always groaned when time captured us, and we had to go.  But there was always the promise of next Sunday.

Fast forward, the day came when Annie's husband's job had them relocate. She didn't move across town. She moved to England!  I am happy for her, but I was sad and lonely.  It seemed odd that I was lonely because I have a great husband, but I still longed for female companionship.  I had heard about a friendship blog and sought it out...and then I read about Shasta's Friendship circles.   I wasn't only longing for friendship, but the rich communication that Annie and I had had or Brenda or Sara other close teacher friends.  While these beautiful women were still my friends, they were far away.

Shasta, a fellow blogger, has created some great friendship circles and even found ways for women to connect with each other.  I loved this idea!  Though there was only one person in my near area, and I wasn't able to connect, I was able to glean  much.  I wasn't alone in feeling lonely.  And actually, Shasta showed there is research that shows being lonely was healthy.  It lets you know you need to take care of your emotional self, much like pain in your body reminds you to take care of your physical self. Suddenly, I felt normal! 

Now she has developed a friendship class using a team of experts from all over on different matters of friendship from seeking new friendships, to deepening other friendships to getting rid of friendships that might no longer be healthy.  I've been on calls with women from all over the world, and the spirit of the call is warm and welcoming.

Check it out!   Here is her website:  www.girlfriendcircle.com

Be sure to look for her friendship class.  It's reasonably priced and has a wealth of information.  If you can't afford that now, there's 
a host of free information about relationships and webinars and wonderful ways to connect with girlfirends from all over.

 Because I know that I crave face to face contact and someone to pal around with, I'm going to put my intentions out there and seek friendships full force.  I will even try out hosting an event to meet some of the girls in my area.  Wish me luck!  I promise to share with you when I get back.

Have a blessed week my on-line friends.

Nemaste,   

Beginning the Journey

I have loved this thing called "writing" all my life.   I recall that as a pre-teen, I would write by our enormous fish tank early in the morning before my massive family of 8 got up.  It was my only quiet time, my only me time.  I remember waking fresh with ideas and stories flowing so freely for me.  Though my writing wasn't good then, it something I enjoyed and was so personal for me.

Later, in my teens, writing would be my friend as I sat near ponds and battled the demons of my tortous life living with an alcoholic and a host of other problems that added to my already confused hormoned state.

Then, I wrote journals in my twenties, looking for a way to unscramble mixed thoughts of broken promises and broken dreams as a young married woman and as a single mom.  I was always afraid that someone would read my journals, that they weren't really as private as I wanted, so sometimes I would emphasize the positive and leave out the negative.  Though I yearned to tell the truth, I was a afraid of the consequences, especially if I said anything that might somehow hurt another.

As a teacher, I teach writing all the time.  Our main focus is teaching personal narrative because students have so much to tell about their lives.  Every day I tell those kiddos that if they write and tell me their stories, I get to know them better, and that they have enough stories in them already to write a lifetime.  When they get stuck, I teach them how to get unstuck and generate ideas.  And most importantly, I tell those kids that the best way to become a better writer is to write! Hmmm...sounds like this teacher might have some good advice.  :-)

Fast forward to me as I am on this journey to writing my dad's book.  The stories are elusive to me, and the writing is tortuous and laborious, mostly because it's not easy building a story about a life you don't know and can't create in a fantasy story. It's not the content that is a challenge.

What holds me back?  Am I afraid of failing?   Am I afraid of dishonoring this man in some way that will make me regret I started this journey?  Don't I just want him to be proud of me, and me to be proud of me?  I think it's "yes" to all these questions and more. 

I KNOW I need the experience and that as I write it will get easier.  But two things get in my way.  One, I'm a bit ADD.  I write about 15 or 20 minutes, and then I have to investigate something for a bit or write 15 minutes on something else.  I'm working on my stamina, but really, I'm not good at this!   Secondly, writing someone's biography is not at all like writing a college paper about something in  X amount of words.  There's clearly a beginning, middle, end, and the "plot" or key points are obvious.  It's a challenge to write when you don't know where you're going.

However, my good friend Bridget, at Inspired Legacy, knows what she's doing, and is assisting me with the process of trusting. She says a lot of people bail when it gets hard.  Those who are successful persist.  So, I guess I am the persister.

It's important to me to do well, not just for me and my dad, but for those whom this book might help.  Alcoholism is a terrible disease that affects so many lives.  If we shine the light on it and build awareness, then maybe, just maybe, it can begin healing people around the world...and not just one generation, but many generations forward and back.

It is my hope to honor those I write about, especially my dad.  For theirs is, and has been, a difficult journey.  They have had the courage to speak up when they could have just been silent.  Let's learn from them.  Then, maybe one day, we will begin to stamp it out like we are stamping out Polio or smoking or any other thing that will harm us beautiful human beings.

And so it is the beginning of me taking this journey and documenting it, because I think the writing adventure and the things I learn as I unveil this man I thought I knew will be just as interesting as his story.

May I be a beacon...a courageous, tenacious, steadfast beacon. 

Writing My Dad's Story

It is interesting as I write my dad's story, how wide open my life becomes and how much more I learn about myself.

What started out with a few questions in a Hallmark book on Legacy of my Dad has become a longer, more joyous journey, and a deeper understanding of the man called, "daddy," in my world.

My dad has always been a very closed man.  Most of my life involved conversations around the weather and tractors.  As you can imagine, this means that things never really got deep or personal in my family.  I yearned for a closer, more intimate relationship with my dad, and I didn't know how to get it.  This man had been bruised and hurt deeply by life, and that called for fierce protection.  All my dad knew was that if he was vulnerable, then, he would get hurt.  And he had enough pain.

One day while shopping for cards for my dad for Father's Day, Hallmark had a book about my Father's Legacy.  It was full of questions, many curious questions that would show me a picture of my dad's life from birth to present, including how he grew up, traditions and celebrations as a family and ways he generally believed.

This simple book got me started on my journey getting to know him.  To my surprise, my dad began to open up more when I asked him questions from the book.  Then as time went on, he became more curious and would ask me what questions were in the book.  Somehow, the book allowed me more license to ask the questions; and if the question was in the book, I was allowed to ask it.

On a few occasions, I tried to veer off course from the book and go a little deeper to get more intimate details about my dad's life and possibly get to know more about my family heritage.  Usually, these questions were met with, "well, I got to get back to my din din," or "I'm really tired.  I think I will call it a night,"  or "I'm going to have to get back to you on that because my head's fuzzy."

Deep down, I knew, and I supposed he did too, that these questions were too painful to answer.  Avoidance was a more polite way to meet me.  However, for me, this was torture, for I felt I was further from knowing my family history.  And my dad was the only keeper of this history left.

Then, I met Bridget from Inspired Legacy.  She got me to begin to ask the right questions for the right reasons, mostly that my dad's painful experiences and successful recovery could assist others on their painful journey.  When my dad heard how he could make a difference in someone's life, he opened up a little more.  Then, each time I leave the conversation, I leave the conversation with much gratitude for all that he has given.

There are days when words flow freely from him; and then there are days that I believe the pain is much too much to bear.  However, I keep in mind that each given word is a blessing; and I look forward to my next conversation with him.

He is the keeper of our history; and I find much urgency in my mission to learn all I can.  AND, I am enjoying the journey.

May all your findings lead you to more self discovery, and healing in your life and our world.

Nemaste,

Marie

Back in Love again...with Writing

It's been over two years since I've written on this blog.  It was a blog that I loved, as well as the wonderful community that came with it..Now that I'm in love with writing again, maybe I can rebuild again.

I sure am looking forward to the re-journey.  I hope you will join me...I can't wait to meet you!

 

The Joy of Turning 50

Sooo...I have this beautiful friend named Barb, who graced 50 with her presence...she let it's sun shine in her face and soaked every ounce of it. She did not cry, she did not mourn. She felt she "earned" this time. I learned so much from her... more later

I will be turning 50 in two weeks, and I wanted to join these ranks gracefully just like she did. So, my plan? Have a Rite of Passage party into the group of wise and powerful women. My husband tells me he reveres these women. He doesn't know how scared I am. Maybe because he's 3 years younger than me...and it hasn't quite hit him yet like it has me....

fast forward from April (when my birthday was and I first started this post to today because of computer problems)...It was a fabulous day! First stage, I had my front yard set up with a picture of when I was a baby, full of joy, running in the sprinklers...there were balloons and bubbles, and sidewalk chalk with Oh, Little Playmate lyrics written...we made suicides and had finger foods...then we told our favorite childhood stories.

Live- art journey

 
This week I worked on my goals of living my life...I worked less; enjoyed family more; and got to play!  

My daughter and I did some art together, word collage.  I got a really good deal on the words "live" and "laugh," $3 at a discount store...so much cheaper than me carving them myself, and we collaged them with tissue paper and other embellishments...mostly, it was nice creating with her.

My father-in-law came down from Toppenish, and we had yet another Christmas...it was their first one because they've had some things going on...so I felt good being able to create something "homey" for them...We played Kinect - Dance Central; and laughed and talked.

Sooo...it was a great week!

And lastly, I've been inspired by watching these awesome videos from Milliande.  She shares her art so freely...what I like mostly is that she "plays," and she creates an environment where the rest of us would be artists feel comfortable playing.  Sometimes half the battle for me is that I don't know what to create. 

Here is her web-site:  http://www.milliande.com/   She has been posting a new video every day!  If you hunger for more, she has quite a few on YouTube as well. 

Have a blessed week my friends...until the next time...

Embarking a New Year

I am a lover of living...thus, I have been living and enjoying life...which sometimes limits time to do other things...like my blog...

I knew I wanted to start my blog going again, because I love writing.  However, the dilema came because I have varied interests and various things I want to write about...making my blog strictly art related, poetry related, creativity related or just writing seemed to restrict me in ways I don't want...so, I start my adventure just writing. 

My father-in-law started writing at the age of 72.  Never before a writer, he committed to write for at least 2 hours every day, sometimes up to 3 hours.  Of course, he's retired...but more than that, he's committed.  Two hours a day is more than I can alot for this adventure, but I do believe I can commit to writing something everyday...My writing time doesn't have to be on my blog.  It could be letters to friends; thinking of you notes; working on my stories, or even doing my poetry therapy stuff. 

Embark was the word of the week from Writer's Island.  I thought it was a word well chosen.  One should always have plenty of adventures to embark on...so these are some that I propose I will seek.

continue to seek joy in all things - think joy, feel joy, live joy - and thus embody joy

commit to doing my life healthier; more fruits & veggies & exercise - follow the doctor's detox guidelines and not fudge.  I deserve to go into my retirement years with strength and vitality! (pain-free)

commit to spending more time with my family - make "dates"; continue to create traditions and memories

pursue my new career of Poetry Therapy with enthusiasm so that we may all heal through our stories and learn all the best there is to know in each other.

love my husband and cherish him with all my might because he is my truest gift from God.

CHEERS!  To my old friends who are so fun to watch create; and to my new friends getting a chance to explore your new adventues!