Wicked Stepmother

This poem started as a poem to my stepmother, but as I related it to my own experience of step parenting, it became a tool for me to heal my own pain.  Though there are many, many years my step mom didn't act as a mom because she was often dysfunctional and had her addictions.  I can't pretend to know what she went through, and I'm sure she was often misunderstood...and I'm positive she never was appreciated for many of the things she did.  This job of step mothering is highly volatile, but it has many rewards...and the strength it takes to bear it can only be given by God and sheer determination.  I faced it without drugs or drinking...it's like having a baby with no anesthesia, but the pain goes on for a lifetime.  I want to honor us both in this poem.  And I dedicate it to all the step moms out there who ever took this job on, whether you felt success or not, you deserve to be appreciated even if only by a stranger. XOXOXO  Thank you mom...for coming back and for a better relationship this year.  I'm sorry it took so long for us to heal.

Wicked Stepmother

I know that a mom’s job is hard,

And that a step mother’s job is even harder

That when you wear that badge,

You wear it PROUDLY

            But that the badge tears deeply into your flesh.

          *

I know that you feel underappreciated

But more so,

Undervalued,

And sometimes…not even human

          *

I know that the job is hard

Because the badge doesn’t

give you any authority

Over ANYTHING.

          *

It’s more like a label

with a lot of names

attached to it

Mostly…WICKED.

          *

I grew up wanting to be a mom

I didn’t grow up wanting to be a step mom.

          *

But I took on the job

And…it almost killed me

I was in the line of fire daily

with no hazard pay.

          *

Sometimes hazards weren’t even marked.

A situation that seemed normal

Would blow like a road side bomb

Unsuspecting

          *

With a lot of damage.

And when the reports

of the carnage and casualties are read

No one would believe it.

          *

I know that when that stepchild grows up

No matter how well she does as an adult

I will get no credit for the good,

And ALL the credit for the bad

          *

My stepmother badge will never

Be a good thing

Except to me.

And when I die…

          *

My dear God,

I hope you will know

That I gave Motherhood

All my best.

That when you gave me the

Title of MOTHER

There was no side “step.”

And I am proud of the work I’ve done.

Comments

[...deb]

"the badge tears deeply into your flesh." was particularly strong. This poem and what it evokes amazed me. You have a big heart.

[gautami]

In all that pain, I see acceptance, love and a desire to be a better stepdaughter and a stepmom.

It works so well..

[gautami]

In all that pain, I see acceptance, love and a desire to be a better stepdaughter and a stepmom.

It works so well..

[Lisa]

Love sometimes puts us in uncomfortable circumstance - you described well both sides. Nice poem.

[Dani in NC]

I like the way you emphasized that stepmothers never get any credit for the good that they do and how the title automatically conjures up bad images for most people.

[Jessica]

Having 2 different stepmothers throughout my life, I think that this is a lovely ode to them. It is a thankless role.

[Tumblewords]

like a roadside bomb - so much of life can be related to the timing and surprise of that phrase

nice work!

[Tumblewords]

like a roadside bomb - so much of life can be related to the timing and surprise of that phrase

nice work!

[leonie (chocolate covered musings)]

i can't relate to this poem at all, not being a stepmother or having one when i was a child (or even now). i want to honour you for writing about something so close to your heart in different ways. i honour your courage and your dedication to the amazing role that you have taken on, the care of another's children.