creative faery

Going home

Ahhhh...if you ever lived in the south, especially Texas, you will understand this story.  Texas is a culture...a way of living.  There is a saying, "you can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the girl."  I have always thought this.  I love the mesquite trees and the bright sunshine (I'm a sunshine girl), and I love Big Red and potatoes and Mexican food...all the flavors and smells of Texas...  So, as you can imagine, I call this place home.

I've lived in Idaho now for over 20 years...I've lost my accent and some of my traditions...and still feel this kinship...but this particular trip taught me that it is not my "home."  Home is where you feel comfortable and safe...where your ideas and principals and opinions are all sacred and unique to you and where people accept you for who you are, face value...

When I go to Texas and visit family, I realize sometimes it is not that safe and there are so many parts of me that people don't accept...really, I'm the black sheep...mostly because I'm happy and don't hang out with vampires!  ha-ha...we call people who suck your energy emotional vampires...If that makes me a black sheep and vampires don't like black sheep meat, then I accept that name! ha ha...

The good news:  I had an amazing time with my cousin Karen.  Actually, I teased her and my family that I had a rotten, no good, terrible, horrible time...here's what I got to do:  we went to a craft fair held in a convention type building...miles and miles of crafts to buy for Christmas - terrible!  Then, we went to the library to make tamales (remember I LOVE Mexican food) - aweful!;  then we stayed at the library and I read rows and rows and rows of children's poetry books (if you know me, you know how much I like poetry books and how scarce they are here) - yuck, yuck awful!;  then we ate at a Mexican restaurant - authentic, margaritas - nasty!  (ha-ha); and lastly, played our family traditional dominoes...worst day I ever had!  My sister said she wished she could have that terrible of a day...the best part is though my cousin and I have had several years keep us apart and on different paths out of touch, it was like old times...we talked easily, and I felt safe...one of the few days I felt that way.

Then, I went to my dad's house...now my dad is sometimes not easy to get along with...he has strong, very emotional opinions and rarely accepts those of others...but this time was different...I went to interview him about his life stories so I can share them with posterity...It was fun getting to know him on his terms...usually he is too busy and antsy to get back to his many projects...but this time, he sat patiently with me while I asked a lot of questions about his parents and grandparents and his childhood.  He was generous with his stories, and I saw him light up more than once.  This is the side of my dad I've always wanted to get to know..but he has held back and only lavished me with lenghty stories of the weather and tractors.  It was a great feeling.  He has a collection of old beat up cars in his yard...most people would consider them junk...and my family does...but he has a deep, passionate history about each and every one, and he has great plans to work on each of them.  I think it is what he thrives on and what keeps him alive.   And I got to witness this.  If it is my last time with my dad, it was an  awesome way to spend it with him.  I got to "know" him in ways that I hadn't before.  Am I still the black sheep?  probably...I stayed away from topics that would make me stand out and talked about our commonalities instead.  Thank you dear God for this awesome opportunity.

The rest of my trip was pretty hairy...I probably won't talk about it much...but this is where the vampires entered the picture.  They are selfish, mean people who only think of themselves and take away from others...I saw incident after incident of these people, and I knew why this was not my home...it was not safe...How I wish I could take my family away and show them what living and breathing normally feels like...I also wish they knew what it was like to be deeply and truly loved for who they are.  But those are their lessons to learn and their gold to find and mine.  I hope this life is enough time for them to gain this treasure.

For now, I revel in the fact home is "where the heart is."  My home, my acceptance of me is inside me.  Now, I have my Joey, the one man who truly knows me and loves me for all of me, good and bad...and I cherish that.  I'm home now...

More Poetry Treats & some healing ones

The other day while I was in the Craft Warehouse, I found some awesome bookmarks.  They were just on display while I was waiting in line.  Each of them had a very cool picture on the front with a title "Advice from..." - there was a river, a tree, a bear, and host of others.  When I gave one to my teacher, she had us brainstorm several objects we could get advice from, first we started with inanimate objects like rocks, shoes, thimbles, cameras, etc.  Then, we made a list of living things...Making the lists was almost as much fun as writing advice...I wrote a poem about advice from rain; or least that's what I thought.  When I actually started writing the poem and reread it, I found the advice was "to" rain, which could be equally as fun.  Where could YOU get advice FROM?  A river might saw, "go with the flow," "go with the current, not against it,"  "watch out for rocks," "move gently and calmly," "bring peace to all in your presence."  I double dog dare you to try it!

The healing exercise was about saying "hello and goodbye."

Hello:   to peace                Goodbye: to people who disrupt it

Hello: conversations          goodbye: to arguments, petty fighting and criticisms

You can also do it in reverse, which my friend said worked better for her.  Start with goodbye to something and hello....I liked the energy of this.  It seemed more positive.

I hope whatever you choose, that you choose to use writing for healing and of course, for pleasure.  It's one of the greatest healers I've known!

Some more poetry fun

Hello!  Some poetry fun brought to you by my very fun poetry writing group facilitated by a dear friend of mine.

First, we did a teasing out of writing by setting out photo postcards on the floor.  Choose a postcard  that reflects your mood at the moment. Then use that photo to metaphorically explain your mood.  For example, if I was feeling extremely happy about something, I might choose a photo of a bird flying and describe my mood as I soar over the various landscape, etc.    - Try it!  It's quite fun!

Another one we tried was reading poetry from beloved poets and either using a phrase or two of the poets', or, using the imagery of memories conjured up while listening to the poem.  I took notes as the poem was being read to see where it jumped started me.  One such poem by Mary Oliver got me thinking about what I miss about Texas.  Though it still needs some reworking, what I like is it's energy and it's robust fullness of childhood memories.

Random thoughts on the Flavors of

Texas

I’ll tell you a

half dozen things about

the flavors of

Texas

The best bar-b-que ribs

and brisket you

ever did taste

because it’s grilled

in a brick fire pit

with

Mesquite

wood

and a homemade with a

vinegar/beer concoction.

even Bill Miller’s

on the corner can make

it almost like that

unlike Dickey’s

whose food tastes

cold and processed…

The sauce isn’t too bad though.

And  Ahhhh…

the Mexican food

so close to the border

has its advantages.

Those Mexican mamas making masa.

Enchiladas made from real corn tortillas,

with joy from hands which love

to dish deliciousness

to make your tongue tingle with taste

Now that’s

Texas

            -a true taste corner.

And did I tell you

about Big Red,

bubble gum soda,

the flavor of childhood

and firemen’s picnics…

and Blue Bonnet icecream…

You can’t buy that here in

Idaho

,

       a state

so lackluster in flavor.

Is it because the

borders are so far way?

or is it because I miss

The Taste of Home…

Even

Idaho

potatoes

tasted better in

Texas

grilled with my daddy’s hand

for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Is it because my daddy

is a good cook?

or do the potatoes

gain flavor

being trucked

all that distance?

I’m not dissing

on

Idaho

I just miss the

Flavors    of     

Texas

            …….mmmmmmmmm……..

Proud to be American

How I miss my blogging summer days...during the school year, I hardly have time to breathe...but I felt especially patriotic today.  Proud of both men, who gave profound speeches in the hopes of bringing our countries closer together.  I could feel everyone's hope rising, even when their candidate did not win...I saw more people vote than ever...I saw people in lines voting for both parties and feeling extremely proud that their vote counted in some way to this moment in history.  People brought their families...they endured long lines without complaint!  There was more unity than I have witnessed in a very long time.   It is time for our nation to heal...may all of us take the lead of John McCain and support "my president," whether you voted for him or not.  I also believe the words of both men, that we are all called to do our part to heal our country and support our country and sacrifice for our country.  One man cannot do it alone.  WE are AMERICA.   WE are AMERICANS..

God Bless the USA...as the world stands with us on this most historic day.