At my virtual sister's bloghouse Creative Thursday, Marisa tagged me to do an experiement with the topic of “Secrets to Dealing with Adversity. This excites me, because I can't wait to see what all of you will post. This is how women unite and learn great living, sharing.
The first thought that came to my mind, and first thoughts are usually the most raw and true thoughts, was "To Thine Own Self Be True." I remember all the things I wanted, namely in my late twenties, that seemed so out of my reach, a job that I really was passionate about even then, teaching. I was newly divorced (something I never dreamed I would be) with two young children, 1 and 2, and I wanted desperately to go back to school. Many times I was told by almost everyone I knew that it was impossible. I was told that I was abandoning my life with my children; that I couldn't finish or wouldn't finish (yes, even my family told me that!); I had no support financially or emotionally by anyone. My situation felt hopeless.
Then, a very small voice, one that had been stifled often and had not been heard in a while, said, "what is your truth? What is the one thread that vibrates and runs true with you?" And though the answer seemed so small at the time, it's vibration began to pulse through me from heart to limbs, and the action began to occur. When money seemed overwhelming and tight; when I was afraid I was quitting a job that I was good at and got paid well because it didn't fit my hours; when time was desperate; when my energy was spent and I was on my hands and knees sobbing on the floor; my thread kept me focused and true. To this day, I am in awe of all that I accomplished with that small amount of time and money, and I know that what I did was not only right for me, but for my children as well.
Two other very important things to remember about adversity that Marisa and I agree on are choice and gratitude. I am grateful for this adversity and pain for it was the best teacher. I learned that being alone wasn't all that bad because I got to know me, the true me, without all the fake cheerful faces. Adversity taught me what I stood for (no one but you to talk to). These days too many people are afraid of being alone and get the next person who comes along...believe me, I did. And when I sat still long enough, I learned about me ,and I became the person I wanted to marry, and the right person did come along. I didn't settle. In adversity came some of my best poetry and my daughter's most passionate art. In adversity came my biggest truths. If pain had not been my teacher, I might not have noticed the truth.
I always had a choice to wallow in my fear, pain, aloneness, or be in the present in the now, truly living...breathing. I could choose to feel angry, sad and sorry for myself (passive) or do something (active). I could choose to die an insignificant, lowly death or live VIBRANTLY!
Think about it. Wasn't adversity that got you what you wanted? No athlete, actor, author, musician, mom, dad, poet, got the prize they wanted without it. Sacrifices and pain brought them there. If you get a chance to read autobiographies, and there are some good ones, like Measure of a Man by Sydney Poitier. You will read their arduous journies and know that it wasn't just handed to them. Many of them worked hard to get their talent. Those you think have the charmed life, choose to live positively...don't think for a minute that they don't have adversity. What will you choose?
Wow, guess I should start podcasting on posts that I'm passionate about! Because it's a lot to read. What I want you to walk away with is the question: What is that thread of truth that vibrates within you? Be true to it with every breath and every heartbeat...for it is the guide to your soul.
Consider yourself tagged if you feel passionate about this. Please use your voice because we women deserve mentors like you. So many of you have moved me with your words. For now, I shall pick on a couple of people who I know have come through adversity with a positive attitude...my soul sister Helene and my ever lovely Jane. Let me know if you do...I want to read! Have a blessed weekend